10 Reasons Men Should Read Romance

9/30/2015

Blog - 10 Reasons Men Should Read Romance

Think of the bedroom as your battleground. Reading romance is like going on a reconnaissance mission, using (PSYOPS) psychological operations to learn more about women before you engage. You want to win at seduction, which means going in with a plan. Knowledge is power and in the case of sex, the more you know, the better. Armed with inside knowledge of what women like, what they feel, what turns them on, etc., you’re ready to win.

Ladies, I know men probably aren’t reading this blog, so feel free to share with your significant other. Without further introduction, here is my Top Ten Countdown:

10. Want to know why women talk so much after sex?

I don’t have any scientific evidence of this, but the answer seems pretty obvious to me. It has very little to do with physical effort. I think men feel most vulnerable during sex, caught up in performance anxiety. A lot of women feel most vulnerable after sex. They want to feel connected, valued, that their emotions are reciprocated. The mental connection is the most important thing. What they often want is reassurance. So guys, fight that impulse to fall asleep and talk to her. It will pay off, I promise.

9. Romance is not erotica, so don’t get confused.

You’ve read Fifty Shades of Gray. Good for you. Just don’t take any notes. Some women enjoy BDSM light, but for most of us it’s just a fantasy, and some of us don’t like it at all. There’s a pretty clear line between what women fantasize about and what they really like in bed, so before you engage in anything kinky, just ask. Read real romance novels and you’ll learn that many of us simply fantasize about a guy who doesn’t stint on foreplay.

8. Proof that size really doesn’t matter.

I promise you that nine out of ten romances make no reference to the size of the hero’s penis. What he does with it is all we care about.

7. If you’re touched by a romance, it doesn’t automatically mean you’re growing breasts.

Yeah, romance has a happy-ever-after ending. Get over it. Romance can be as suspenseful and frightening as anything a male thriller or horror writer can conjure up. On the other hand, romances can also be bawdy and funny and hot. It’s not like most male genre fiction doesn’t have predictable endings, too. The hero usually wins. Man-up, guys. Women don’t worry that if they like action-adventure or sci-fi they might grow a dick.

6. What are the qualities women look for in a man?

A great butt might be one of them, but seriously, not every romance hero is handsome and rich. What the romance hero usually does have is a sense of humor, he’s kind to those less fortunate, and he has an abiding love for the heroine. He’s usually physically strong, stubborn (see, we can deal in reality too,) sometimes aggressive (although he knows when to back off.) And he never, ever under any circumstances leaves the toilet seat up!

5. Gain insight into what women really feel.

Research has shown that men have an easier time reading the emotions of other men than they do with women. This is because they relate emotions other men are feeling to their own experiences. Scientists theorize this was a question of survival in the past. Read enough romances, and you’ll start to gain better insight into a woman’s emotions. Lots of romance writers are terrific at characterization. Maybe you’ll never gain a total understanding of women, but you’ll know a lot more than your male counterparts if you read romances. I like to think of it as relationship counseling without the high hourly rate.

4. Because male writers could probably expand their readership.

The best male thriller, sci-fi, adventure, and horror writers out there could almost all use a crash course in writing about more rounded characters and relationships. The story and plots are usually strong, and carry the book, but if you want a bigger audience, you could learn a lot from romances about how to deepen characterization, and write a romance subplot that will garner you even more readers. I’d read more sci-fi if it had a romance subplot. All that testosterone in close quarters turns me off.

3. An answer to a burning question among men.

I didn’t even know this until I started researching lists of things men don’t understand about women. There’s the shoe thing, of course, which even I can’t explain. So what is it men almost universally don’t understand about women? They can’t figure out why women visit the ladies’ room in packs. Mostly, it’s to talk about you.

2. The secret weapon men can use in the bedroom.

The romance hero takes the time to find out what the heroine wants in bed. So just ask. We’ll tell you and give you big bonus points for caring enough about our enjoyment to ask the right questions.

1. To gain technical expertise.

You may think you know what turns a woman on, but if you haven’t done the prep work, you’re going to fail the exam. Vaginal orgasm doesn’t happen for most women. Our most sensitive nerve endings are located in our clitoris. I know it’s inconvenient, but learning this fact will pay huge dividends in your future. Like lots more sex. A happy camper is one who will return to the forest again and again. Think about this.

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Musings about love, romance and relations between the sexes

If I had any sage wisdom to share, I’d be managing my own life a whole lot better, but if you have some spare time on your hands, I guess you could do worse than read my scrambled thoughts. That’s all I’m promising.

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